Tuesday, 31 May 2016


                                             UNDERSTANDING THE TRUE MEANING OF RELATIONSHIP 

By nature, humans are programmed to seek endless relationships with different kinds of people. Relationship in its most basic form can be defined as the condition of being connected or associated with something or somebody, the natural tendency for humans to constantly seek relationships implies that we are involved in at least one type of relationship or the other. The utmost type of relationship anyone can be involved in is the relationship with the creator; however, the main focus of this article would be on human relationships. There are two basic types of human relationships and they are:

1. Interpersonal relationship; this refers to the relationship with others i.e. friends, family, spouse, etc.
2. Intrapersonal relationship; this refers to the relationship with one’s self

            The truthful fact is that the success of the former is greatly dependent on the latter but a lot of folks do not know this, so they screw up in every relationship they get into and try to blame the other party for their predicament. Most people expect perfection, total satisfaction and keep on placing demands on others without making any contribution or investment. Now, the “BIG” question, what kind of investment should be made? The golden rule in the bible answers this question expressly and the instruction is simply to “do unto others what you want others to do unto you”. In clearer terms, you should possess or be in the process of working towards possessing whatever quality(ies) you desire in a partner. Many ladies and even guys want a perfect partner without even making any attempt to meet the standard of what they want. We should always have it at the back of our minds that deep calleth unto deep i.e. you can’t be bad and expect to attract good things, it doesn’t work that way.

            The Intrapersonal relationship (relationship with one’s self) is the degree of association with one’s self brought about by a focus on knowing and understanding with the aim of developing one’s personality. This type of relationship is practically one of the most important associations or connections we should constantly prune and nurture because the blessing of cultivating the intrapersonal relationship appropriately is that it affects every other kind of relationship we find ourselves in positively. Unfortunately, most people overlook the importance of this relationship to their own detriment. Deeply embedded in this type of relationship are 4 key concepts which are;

a. Self-discovery; this involves the learning of what kind of person one really is, it refers to an in-depth process of finding out what purpose one was created for. It helps you to understand yourself which would in turn help you understand others and relate with them better.

b. Self-development; this comes after self-discovery and it simply means working in line with findings gotten from the self-discovery phase in other to improve on yourself and fulfil purpose which would in turn make you a better person.

c. Self-Esteem; this simply means how you feel about yourself,  it refers to the confidence in one’s own worth. It should be noted that if the first and second concepts above are taken seriously, it will affect how you feel about yourself positively.

d. Self-Image; this is closely related to and works hand to hand with self-esteem, it refers to the way you see yourself i.e. the perception you have of yourself.

            Understanding these four concepts above will go a long way in affecting any relationship we might find ourselves in because for us to be able to understand people and get along with them well, we must first understand ourselves.

            Conclusively, relationships are unavoidable and of great importance as they can make or break us. Hence, it is important to build right kind of relationship with people and this begins with perfecting or working towards perfecting the personal relationship we have with ourselves.
By Fashola John.