Things Guys Should
Avoid When Trying To Get the Attention of a Lady They Like
1) Being Too Available on Phone: An
inexperienced guy thinks if he talks for hours on phone with a girl, he will
become more of a ‘boyfriend material’ to her. This notion is very wrong as the opposite
will actually occur and she’ll lose respect and interest for you. This is as a
result of the fact that you have made yourself too available, too easy and you
have given her a signal that you have no life. If a guy has value, his time has
value too; people value something when it is rare. If you give your time too freely,
then you are not valuable. Don’t get this wrong, if something bad happens, you
always want to be there on the phone, asides this condition, never do a phone
marathon session with her. It just won’t help.
2) Always Saying the Perfect Things to Her:
Many guys think that in order to get a girl interested, they have to say the
perfect things to her. A guy might think that by complimenting a girl
constantly, never using profane words, avoiding controversy and always saying
what he thinks she wants to hear, he becomes the ‘Perfect Guy’. Think about it
this way. Your parents don’t say perfect things to each other all the time and
they still love each other. You don’t say perfect things to your friends and
yet, they are still your friends. The point is if you say perfect things all
the time, it will have the opposite of the intended effect, she will think of
you as being predictable and lacking in humour and confidence.
You need to sometimes say something
controversial, unpredictable and edgy. If done correctly, she won’t get
offended and, in fact, she would like you more. By saying candid things, it
shows that you have a good sense of humour, a sense of confidence and that you
can speak comfortably around her. This will help to build a good rapport
between you two as opposed to when you are only trying to say things you feel
she will like to hear. However, do not go overboard with your comments in your
bid to be open as this will not help either.
3) Being too Romantic: Certain guys think
that you need to really sweep a girl off her feet with roses, love letters and
sweet words. This is absolutely wrong and there are 2 reasons why being overly
romantic is a turnoff.
First,
in order to get her interested, you must keep her guessing. When you are being
too romantic, you are confirming you affection which is not a good step. If
she’s unsure, she’ll go crazy and seek advice from friends. The more unsure she
is, the more obsessed she becomes. The more obsessed she becomes, the more she
will like you.
Secondly
and most importantly, girls develop interest in a guy slowly and gradually.
When you are being overly romantic, you are forcing the issue and pressuring
her to make a decision. Instead of reciprocating your affection, she will
likely flee. You can never pressure a girl to like you. Instead, you must
exercise patience and let her slowly develop an emotional attachment. When
doing it correctly, it will slowly creep up on her until the day she suddenly
realizes she can’t live without you.
4) Always Asking to Reschedule Whenever She
Stands You Up: Most guys have experienced the disappointment of a girl
flaking out on a date. When this happens, guys most times get offended, then
requests for a reschedule. This is a wrong move because if you get angry, show
disappointment or ask her to reschedule, you are showing desperation. Girls do
not want a desperate guy. You can never force her to go out with you anyway. So
the more desperate and forceful you sound, the more unlikely she will ever go
out with you. Instead of taking that risk, play it cool. Who knows?….she might
even raise it when feels like you are not bothered about it.
5) Talking too much about your ex: While
this information will eventually be shared at least to some extent, it
shouldn’t be discussed too often and in details with a girl you are trying to
win. At this stage, you want to create a bond and pass an impression and
carrying old baggage into a new relationship will not help to achieve this as
it could confuse your potential mate as to where your interest really lies. If
at all you need to talk about your ex, it should be when you are trying to make
a reference or probably in one of those fun moments when you want to incite a little
jealousy. However, it should never be excessive, never let it get to the extent
of comparison.
6) Obsessing over details: This is a
common trait among those who worry. Some guys worry about what girls say, what
they mean by what they said, how they react themselves, the relationship not
working out, some even worry about the relationship working out and how people
will react. Being anxious is a mood killer and it won’t make you attractive to
a potential mate. Tap into your self confidence and trust that if the
relationship is meant to work out, it will.
7) Being Unwilling to Walk Away: You know
that feeling you have when you have been pursuing a girl but she doesn’t
appreciate your attention and kindness. In fact, she constantly does
thoughtless demeaning things to you in return. You are pissed and want to drop
her from your life but you like her too much and don’t want to risk losing a
friend. So you take the pain and ‘gbe mo ra’ as the Yorubas would say…and
pretend you are not upset. After all, you are demonstrating unconditional love
with the hope that the girl will eventually be impressed…right? If you ever do
this, the opposite effect will occur. If you let her step all over you, she’ll
lose interest in you. Girls don’t want unconditional love from
attention-seeking and over emotional wimps. She wants a man she can respect.
How do you get respect? Well, you certainly don’t get respect by constantly
being stepped on! You get respect by standing up to her and demonstrating your
willingness to walk away forever. She will appreciate and respect a guy only
when there is a risk of losing him.
If you have to resort to dropping
her, do that. If she comes back to you, that’s great and if she doesn’t, you
still have your respect. It’s a win-win situation for you.
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