Saturday, 16 July 2016


Things Guys Should Avoid When Trying To Get the Attention of a Lady They Like

1) Being Too Available on Phone: An inexperienced guy thinks if he talks for hours on phone with a girl, he will become more of a ‘boyfriend material’ to her. This notion is very wrong as the opposite will actually occur and she’ll lose respect and interest for you. This is as a result of the fact that you have made yourself too available, too easy and you have given her a signal that you have no life. If a guy has value, his time has value too; people value something when it is rare. If you give your time too freely, then you are not valuable. Don’t get this wrong, if something bad happens, you always want to be there on the phone, asides this condition, never do a phone marathon session with her. It just won’t help.

2) Always Saying the Perfect Things to Her: Many guys think that in order to get a girl interested, they have to say the perfect things to her. A guy might think that by complimenting a girl constantly, never using profane words, avoiding controversy and always saying what he thinks she wants to hear, he becomes the ‘Perfect Guy’. Think about it this way. Your parents don’t say perfect things to each other all the time and they still love each other. You don’t say perfect things to your friends and yet, they are still your friends. The point is if you say perfect things all the time, it will have the opposite of the intended effect, she will think of you as being predictable and lacking in humour and confidence.

            You need to sometimes say something controversial, unpredictable and edgy. If done correctly, she won’t get offended and, in fact, she would like you more. By saying candid things, it shows that you have a good sense of humour, a sense of confidence and that you can speak comfortably around her. This will help to build a good rapport between you two as opposed to when you are only trying to say things you feel she will like to hear. However, do not go overboard with your comments in your bid to be open as this will not help either.

3) Being too Romantic: Certain guys think that you need to really sweep a girl off her feet with roses, love letters and sweet words. This is absolutely wrong and there are 2 reasons why being overly romantic is a turnoff.

First, in order to get her interested, you must keep her guessing. When you are being too romantic, you are confirming you affection which is not a good step. If she’s unsure, she’ll go crazy and seek advice from friends. The more unsure she is, the more obsessed she becomes. The more obsessed she becomes, the more she will like you.

Secondly and most importantly, girls develop interest in a guy slowly and gradually. When you are being overly romantic, you are forcing the issue and pressuring her to make a decision. Instead of reciprocating your affection, she will likely flee. You can never pressure a girl to like you. Instead, you must exercise patience and let her slowly develop an emotional attachment. When doing it correctly, it will slowly creep up on her until the day she suddenly realizes she can’t live without you.

4) Always Asking to Reschedule Whenever She Stands You Up: Most guys have experienced the disappointment of a girl flaking out on a date. When this happens, guys most times get offended, then requests for a reschedule. This is a wrong move because if you get angry, show disappointment or ask her to reschedule, you are showing desperation. Girls do not want a desperate guy. You can never force her to go out with you anyway. So the more desperate and forceful you sound, the more unlikely she will ever go out with you. Instead of taking that risk, play it cool. Who knows?….she might even raise it when feels like you are not bothered about it.

5) Talking too much about your ex: While this information will eventually be shared at least to some extent, it shouldn’t be discussed too often and in details with a girl you are trying to win. At this stage, you want to create a bond and pass an impression and carrying old baggage into a new relationship will not help to achieve this as it could confuse your potential mate as to where your interest really lies. If at all you need to talk about your ex, it should be when you are trying to make a reference or probably in one of those fun moments when you want to incite a little jealousy. However, it should never be excessive, never let it get to the extent of comparison.

6) Obsessing over details: This is a common trait among those who worry. Some guys worry about what girls say, what they mean by what they said, how they react themselves, the relationship not working out, some even worry about the relationship working out and how people will react. Being anxious is a mood killer and it won’t make you attractive to a potential mate. Tap into your self confidence and trust that if the relationship is meant to work out, it will.

7) Being Unwilling to Walk Away: You know that feeling you have when you have been pursuing a girl but she doesn’t appreciate your attention and kindness. In fact, she constantly does thoughtless demeaning things to you in return. You are pissed and want to drop her from your life but you like her too much and don’t want to risk losing a friend. So you take the pain and ‘gbe mo ra’ as the Yorubas would say…and pretend you are not upset. After all, you are demonstrating unconditional love with the hope that the girl will eventually be impressed…right? If you ever do this, the opposite effect will occur. If you let her step all over you, she’ll lose interest in you. Girls don’t want unconditional love from attention-seeking and over emotional wimps. She wants a man she can respect. How do you get respect? Well, you certainly don’t get respect by constantly being stepped on! You get respect by standing up to her and demonstrating your willingness to walk away forever. She will appreciate and respect a guy only when there is a risk of losing him.

            If you have to resort to dropping her, do that. If she comes back to you, that’s great and if she doesn’t, you still have your respect. It’s a win-win situation for you.




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